Self-love is something that is overlooked in the society. I came to the realization that I concur with the fact that self-love, self-esteem and self-worth are different perspectives of the same box. I have never been ready to speak about a lot of traumas that I have gone through, except sickle cell, but I came to the realization than in order for me to relate and help someone through what I am doing I should over communicate my truth.
I was in a very abusive relationship for some years. It was emotional, psychological and sometimes physical. When in that situation, one feels like they are in an invisible prison and the key was thrown out to the ocean. Although it took longer than it should have, I walked away and started over. Although I did that, the abuser still felt that they needed to impose themselves in my life as we had to keep communicating.
I had to attend therapy to deal with some underlying issues and to stop being mad. I was very mad at myself, the abuser too, but mostly me. I had to deal with all this while going through a warzone as I really had to fight for what I would consider my life. During that time, one of the very many people that I listen to mentioned that someone has to start loving themselves and rediscovering themselves all over. I took initiative of taking myself out to dates, doing things that I have always wanted to try and started a business. I have discovered a lot about myself and this has made me appreciate my past. I am in love with the person I discovered and at this point of my life I do not care what other people think of me or if they accept me.
In my opinion self-love comes through having self-esteem and feeling worthy. Worthy of life; worthy of all the good that is coming your way; worthy of being sensitive, passionate and dreaming big; and unconditionally giving yourself to yourself. This means that you have to forgive yourself; and not judging yourself as these are the biggest hold ups we have in our lives. I am still working on myself but I can say I am at a point where I have accepted where I am and I have forgiven myself for my past mishaps through looking at lessons learned and the good that came of it.
I urge you fellow lovers that you remember that even though you may have all the context; you cannot learn how to love yourself until you can learn how to unconditionally love everything that defines you: the good, the bad and the ugly.
Until next time,
Your One and only